Advice to my 22 year old self

Recently I was asked to speak at a young professionals networking event and the organisers asked me to share my story. I felt incredibly humbled but at the same time super nervous about what the audience may think of what I had to say. Although speaking in front of a crowd is now enjoyable for me it still makes my knees go wobbly every single time. If you’ve seen me without something to stand behind, my legs will often be ramrod straight or crossed over to avoid the trembles.

The speech itself went through a short history of my career with a few anecdotes about the more unusual on-the-job experiences I’ve had. To wrap it up, I decided to share the advice I would give to my 22 year old self, if I had a time machine and here it is for you.

1. The unknown is hard, but it will be worth it. Being resilient and acknowledging that through any major growth period, there will be times of uneasiness, pain, or failures. Bouncing back when things don’t go according to plan will make your final accomplishments feel even more worthwhile. The strength you build in getting through hard times will make you a better person in the long run.

“Hard things are hard because there are no easy answers or recipes. They are hard because your emotions are at odds with your logic. They are hard because you don't know the answer and you cannot ask for help without showing weakness.” - Ben Horowitz

2. Be kind to yourself by focussing on the positive. Looking back there were times when I focussed too much on what went wrong or what I could have done better. You may know that I am a fan of Tony Robbins and he often says, “Where focus goes, energy flows”. So, if you focus on everything that goes wrong in life, you will feel that way, whereas if you focus on what is going well or the choices you have - you will have more gratitude and happiness.

3. You have so much time. I remember being in school with my core group of friends and we would talk about our life plan; the age we would be working, buy a house, become engaged, married, have children, and so on. It was a well-considered plan. However, as I passed each birthday without reaching the milestone I had envisaged in my younger years, I began to realise that I had much more time available to me than I had ever expected and that it was ok to change my dreams. As life unfolded it turned out there were milestones on that old list that were no longer important to me. Defining yourself as the person you want to be, instead of the person you thought you had to be, will always lead you to your path of success within your own time.

4. Always have time for those who are important to you. There are people in our life who bring joy, may it be a friend, colleague, or family. When life is busy it can be easy to let these relationships slide. Don't. These are the people that Brenè Brown calls the “square squad” as they love you not despite your vulnerability and imperfections but because of them. These are people that will always be there to support you and want to see the best for you, always put them first.

5. Find a mentor (and a sponsor). I have worked with wonderful mentors regularly through my career, some were formal arrangements and others informal. It has only been in recent years that I have understood the value of a sponsor. The sponsor is someone who advocates for you, such as they hear of a new project and put your name first. Sponsors can't be bought and this high trust relationship may take months or years to build. Here is a little article from the Harvard Business Review if you want to read more on mentors and sponsors.

I look back on my story and even though I have no regrets about the path I chose, I recognize there were times I held myself back due to uncertainty over the outcomes. Sure, some things will take more energy and effort, others more sacrifice and hard times. I wish this 22 year old woman to the right would have known back then that with enough focus and belief you can do anything you put your mind to. Lucky she does now.

Sharing my story to the group at the networking event doesn’t mean it’s reached the end. In fact, I feel my story is still evolving and there will much more for me to learn and experience. Bring it on.

Thanks for reading. Please feel free reach out to share what advice you would love to give to your younger self. If you are interested in more ways to Think Ascend, please subscribe to my mailing list. No spam, just regular inbox gifts to keep you ascending.