Getting back to self and finding joy

These days we have so much to entertain or distract us in our daily lives and, although I love that the internet and social media has created opportunities for people to connect, it’s also made us all much more accessible and accountable.

Subsequently, sometimes our understanding can be blurred around what productivity really looks like.

Recently a junior staff member commented that the “green tick” displayed next to someone’s name was “how you knew they were working”. I had to jump in and say that the colour only indicates when they are interacting with the software product and it is not a measure of outcomes that an individual is delivering.

It was an interesting point about how there is an increased focus on what being busy or productive at work really looks like. Is it evidence based? Or is it a false impression formed from observing a “green tick”?

Just like the (often inaccurate and curated) social media images presented to the World.

I began to wonder if we are becoming more disconnected from our true selves and putting a filter over going through the motions of life.

So how can we get back to self and create more joy in our life? Well, I can give you the hot tip, no one is going to do it for you and no one is going to push you. It’s all on you to actively seek joy in every day. Every human has a unique view on joy and what raises their own dopamine level.

“The positive inner state is always there, and it is merely covered over by supressed negative feelings.” - David R. Hawkins

I recently learned about the dopamine menu exercise and highly rate the process. It is not a to-do list, but when you can chunk down the activities it’s easy to see how to build them into daily life and create space for yourself.

Starters – Activities that are quick and ideal to use to break up a day or task. This could include listening to your favourite song or sitting down for a coffee by yourself or going for a walk without any stimulus (e.g. without your phone).

Main courses – Activities that take longer and may need to be scheduled. Catching up with friends, playing scrabble, afternoon lazing on the beach or pursuing a passion project. You’ll know it’s main course appropriate because you will feel energized afterwards.

Sides – Small things you can add to other activities to make them more enjoyable. This might be listening to a podcast whilst driving, having a coffee meeting instead of sitting in a windowless room in the office, or taking a few small deep belly breaths to create a moment of stillness when you’re at your desk.

Dessert – Ice cream with chocolate ice magic. Wait, wrong context, but the dessert dopamine activities when consumed to excess may not leave you feeling good. My top pick is scrolling on social media for only a couple of reels and then realising it’s 45 minutes later. Others may find Netflix binge watching is their dessert. There isn’t anything wrong with these activities, but being aware and kind to yourself about how you feel after these ‘desserts’ may lead you to reconsider why you are spending so much time on them.

I’ve written before about the equal value of time we all have. So if you are feeling that you don’t have time for these activities, then I challenge you to sit in stillness, outside in public and alone for 30 minutes. See what comes up for you and if it’s the internal mental chatter of everything you need to do, then remind yourself that not everything else in nature runs at 110% productivity and neither should you.

Getting back to self requires open space to allow your very creative mind to reflect on your feelings, thoughts, motivations and desires - asking yourself what you want? Without doing this, you run the very big risk of becoming disconnected and finding yourself in a situation that was not part of your life plan or isn’t aligned with your values. Being curious about yourself is the first step to building self-awareness and finding what you need to get back to self.

This post is dedicated to KLW, it’s been a hot minute since I’ve felt inspired to write again and I appreciate your support and editing review before I release my posts out into the World.

Thanks for reading. Please feel free to reach out to share your own experiences and what brings you joy and makes you feel most you!